Turning the Vege-tables.

George Takei It's like he doesn't carrot all.

Kate Wilson OMG let the vegetable puns begin! Peter Kapitola get us started peas!

Kerry Egan He looks so swede. Turnip the dance music!

Kate Wilson Yeah, pumpkin out the beets!

Peter Kapitola Will I join in this pun-fest? Not nececelery.

Sara King Lettuce begin!

Tony Richmond Cool carrot but think it's missing the beet.

Peter Kapitola Yeah, he's a little bit rad. Not totally rad though. Rad-ish.

Peter Blankendaal I'd prefer four swedes to a carrot - I'm a big ABBA fan

Colleen Dixon That's not a pun, Peter. Somebody artichoke ya for that one.

Peter Blankendaal You're right Colleen, it is only a little pun; I believe it's a punnette.

Peter Kapitola Colleen, I think Peter was only pulling your legume ight want to be nicer to him in the future :)

Kate Wilson These puns are salad gold!

Peter Blankendaal I bean corny too long it is time to squash the fruits of my labours and turnip a new leaf.

Sub-standard Humour

They might be onto something here...

Daniel Braithwaite Getting that sinking feeling?

Daniel Braithwaite That headline is a real dive. One can't fathom...

Peter Kapitola This sort of humour is way out of our league (by about 20,000 or so).

Off The Rails

Peter Kapitola Do you think this is acceptable conduct or not?

Matthew Littlefield I'm not sure I'm following your train of thought. Maybe you can line out your points, so I can get on board with the way your thinking is tracking. Failing that maybe we will just be crossing lines.

Peter Kapitola Are you wheely interested? Or do you just want to know so you can ticket off your list?

Tiang Cheng i understand why she would want to brake off this relationship. He sounds coal-hearted.

Peter Kapitola Maybe he's just trying to gauge whether their relationship is going anywhere. Or maybe he just has loco motives.

Christian Pete

Not Great. Perhaps they need to pray and ask God to help them let off steam.

Jeffrey J Reeder Seems like she's trying to railroad him into breaking up. Bet she kicks his caboose right out the door!

Matthew Littlefield It really would be unfair for her to rail at him.

Electrical Pun Storm, Part 2

Morris Evans ΩMG

Michael Fiero I'm fraid the wire cant resist anything.

Peter Kapitola Wire you being like that?

Boyd Zurg but you need to refuse

Peter Kapitola Why? Is it against the code of conductor something?

Trevor Spangler You conducting an experiment here, Peter?

Morris Evans This always had the potential to induce the current surge of comments.

Daniel Braithwaite I'm going to elect Ron and then he will put a stop to these puns.

Daniel Braithwaite In the meantime well just solder on until we can get the situation rectified.

Peter Kapitola These puns are revolting.

Peter Kapitola They transformer person into something with no potential.

Peter Kapitola Maybe I'm just feeling a bit flat and need a recharge.

Boyd Zurg I diode to this punfest a long time ago

Boyd Zurg How do I impede the notifications?  :'(

Peter Kapitola Boyd you are showing your reluctance.

Boyd Zurg In admittance, there is still a compulsion to respond :-/

Punicycle

What's the difference between well dressed man on a unicycle and a hobo on a bicycle?
.
.
.
.
.
Attire

Leith Rankine Attire

Leith Rankine I GOT IT

Brandy Chap Attire

Peter Kapitola Well done guyth. I think we can call this one clothed.

Kate Wilson Please don't threaden us with any more of these jokes.

Peter Kapitola Can I tailor them to suit you better Kate?

Boyd Zurg Yeah don't 'tread'en us Pete

Boyd Zurg And yeah, I like my clothes bespoke

Peter Kapitola These are mostly off the cuff. But I think they work better if you chain a few together without taking a brake.

Boyd Zurg As long as you don't recycle them

Kate Wilson These jokes are shirthouse

Kate Wilson Just sleeve me alone

Peter Kapitola I can't now Kate. I'm too invested.

Ter Ry This thread seems to have been derail(er)ed. Best to lever it alone.

Those are some Swede puns you might say.

I took a drill to some Expedit today... note the non-standard shelves.

Chris Roberts Nice work. Myshelf, I have no ikea how you were able to get it done so expeditiously.

Kerryn Kapitola Gee Chris, at least share some puns.

Tiang Cheng I'm storing those ideas for later

Peter Kapitola Chris is just being shelfish.

Chris Roberts I was just hoping that if I raised the bar, you'd put it together yourself that I've furnished you with an opportunity to really drill into this topic. If you tried, I'm sure it would work.

Kerryn Kapitola Allen keyp trying to do is make it work.

Adoorable Puns

I thought that my cupboard door would open easily, but there was a catch.

Erik Olsen Did your life hinge on if it would open?

Erik Olsen So could you handle the cupboard door opening.

Peter Kapitola Yes Erik I was a bit obsessed with it. I tend to latch onto ideas pretty strongly.

Erik Olsen I guess if all else fails you could just shelve it.

Peter Kapitola Yes but then I would just bolt straight to the next idea.

Richard Kohlhagen Don't drawer it out Peter, just get it fixed.

Pasta... Stat!

Chris Roberts I have to admit, I cook a mean spicy pasta. As long as by 'mean' you mean 'average'.

Peter Kapitola I think you're just experiencing impasta syndrome.

Tom Marshall Really using your noodle there

Daniel Braithwaite That's a pasta distribution I'm not looking forward to

Rick Davey Pass da pasta Pastor. Faster Pastor.

Anny Britt Mmmm spicy. Sounds like a pretty standard deviation from a traditional recipe.

Peter Kapitola Just remember, it should be al dente, not a la mode.

Framed

Peter Kapitola

Such a happily abusive picture frame. I'd be mad but he's so happy about it.



Daniel Braithwaite Glad you're not getting hung up about it

Peter Kapitola It's all about how you frame it Daniel.

Daniel Braithwaite It's important to stay fixed on the positive

Peter Kapitola Yeah I'm not taking it too hard - ware would I be if I did that?

Daniel Braithwaite Yes, it's important to view the bigger picture.

Peter Kapitola Yeah otherwise I'd be screwed.

Ter Ry Are you saying that it's knot important?

Peter Kapitola Frayed knot.

Boyd Zurg He looks rather high strung.

Tracey Herridge Maybe he was ti(r)ed and strung out after a long day, dealing with people who would knot listen and wanted to nail him for stuff he didn't do.

Ter Ry Seems to me he hasn't kept a level head either, who knows how this situation will unwind.

Morris Evans I think when your back's against the wall, it's natural to become a little tongue tied, but perhaps this guy is still smiling as he knows he can share the load?

Urine Trouble

Peter Kapitola When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Richard Kohlhagen Piss weak joke :)

Peter Kapitola You rolly gee ... what a burn.

Richard Kohlhagen Sorry, couldn't hold it in :)

Kerryn Kapitola That's my No. 1 favourite joke.

Richard Kohlhagen Careful, all this toilet humour can cause infectious laughter. You'll wet yourself.

Tap

Andrew Chan It's giving me a sink-ing feeling

Larry Travis You're all washed up.

Peter Kapitola I feel drained after this.

Larry Travis Water you talking about?

Peter Kapitola I'm talking about my friend Celine who was just in an accident. Poor Celine.

Larry Travis She's always in hot water.

Peter Kapitola Sorry, that was a bit of a shameless plug.

Larry Travis Wait, was that the accident at the construction site? The lady who crashed into the mixer?

Peter Kapitola Ir..well...I'd rather not say.

Larry Travis Celine was pretty good at plays-on-words, if I recall. If she joined us we wouldn't be able to countertop puns.

~

Peter Kapitola I am too embarrassed to say how long this took me to get.

In my defense, I may have been drinking.

Larry Travis Took a moment to sink in?

Peter Kapitola Yeah my brain wasn't flowing well.

Larry Travis Should I be basin any conclusions on that?

Peter Kapitola Maybe we should end this, sir, amic ably?

Larry Travis Tub-e sure, we should.

Peter Kapitola Yes, it's bringing out our vanity.

Larry Travis You just about bowled me over with that play on words, but don't get too enamelled with yourself!

~

Larry Travis Is that a "faux set" of instructions by any chance?

Morris Evans This is amazing

Larry Travis Tank you! On another posting of this, Peter really drained my store of pun creativity. We threw everything but the kitchen sink at it. I'm tapped and this was all I had left.

Unthinkable

Peter Kapitola To me, going through life without using your brain is unthinkable.

Adam Brown I wished for a world with no hypotheticals - I now can't imagine it any other way.

Peter Kapitola Can you imagine a world without rhetorical questions?

Ben Rae I don't get it.

Stephen McAlpine Been in Canberra too long Ben Rae

Ben Rae I've always felt my subtle sense of humour is under appreciated Stephen McAlpine :)

Stephen McAlpine I must be tired

Ben Rae Well, in fairness Shelley considers my sense of humour to be more down the "non-existent"

Chris Roberts To me going sailing without knowing the depth of the water is unfathomable.

Chris Roberts My friend Vizzini thinks that idea of not being able to have kids is inconceivable.

Peter Kapitola The erection of a wall around the apiary made for an unbeeleaveable situation.

Something Smells Punny

Jessie Kapitola: "What does the Pacific smell like?"
Clearly I didn't say "Pacific-Centred" very clearly. Clearly.

Jessie Kapitola :P

Kerryn Kapitola What an odourious question.

Peter Kapitola The heart has its reasons of which reason nose nothing.

Kerryn Kapitola But you know what they say... Love stinks

So Much Cheese

Peter Kapitola This sounds too gouda to be true..... and there was de'brie everywhere....

Overturned cheese truck closes Princes Highway on NSW south coast

Curtis Armstrong Nacho gratest puns!

Peter Kapitola OK. I'll go Kraft some better ones.

Nick Thomas Oh Cheezus, that aint grate news

Ian Nitert God edam it!

Peter Kapitola Yeah it's terrible. I cheddar tear...

Curtis Armstrong Wheel leave you provolone to think about some better puns

Peter Kapitola Thanks curdis - whey to go.

Curtis Armstrong Lol, you cracker me up

Nick Thomas This has me a little blue, veinglorious puns aside.

Damien Bailey Shouldn't the headline read "overchurned cheese truck"??

Peter Kapitola I love how these puns are just flowing unfeta'd

Jeffrey J Reeder Brieware of bad drivers!

Peter Kapitola Hi Jeffrey. The first rule of pun club is.. never repeat a pun. :)

Boyd Zurg Yes, it brieches the rules :-P

Peter Kapitola I guess you're new to this so I could just let it brie.

Jeffrey J Reeder I won't do it again. I don't want to get grilled :p

Richard Kohlhagen This accident Begas belief, bet it's causing a real traffic edam.

Peter Kapitola Nooooooooo edam was used toooo :)

Richard Kohlhagen Edam your rules Peter, I'll wheel out what ever pun I feel like!

Boyd Zurg L'edam rip. You don't need Pete's parmesan :-)

Britt Anny Would not repeated topic words be affine in pun club culture if the play on the word is fresh?

Tracey Herridge Not related to the story but a cheese pun none the less... Which cheese do you use when you need to hide a horse??

Peter Kapitola Mascarpone :)

Tracey Herridge Which cheese do you use to lure a bear out of hiding?

Nick Thomas Camembert =D

Boyd Zurg What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Tracey Herridge Why haloumi!

Boyd Zurg I cheddar at the thought of repeated puns.

Richard Kohlhagen It's all a bit hit and swiss if you ask me.

Boyd Zurg It's hard to keep coont

Aron Raduly Drivers these days... This one was total Emmental

Boyd Zurg Yeah it wasn't a mature thing to do

Tiang Cheng I'm laughing so hard, I'm turning blue. That's better than wine-ing over spilt milk.

Nick Cooke I bet there's stiltons to clean up

Celeste Boska It was an insurance raclette

Paul Newbold stiff cheddar

Deb Hedley I bet it was a fun do.

Deb Hedley They didn't whey up the consequences.

Surprisingly Grammatical Insurance

Peter Kapitola If SGIO ever comes out with a Grammar Insurance policy, some people will finally be able to insure that they write properly.

Damien Bailey That would make them underwritten?

Larry Travis Either way, so long as people put a premium on good grammar.

Peter Kapitola I guess I shouldn't write people off just because of their poor grammar. That would be a bit excess-ive.

The Treety of Versigh.

Danielle Lynn Detjen My vote is still for Bob Ross. We all need more happy little trees in our life.

Dale Shepard Happy Little Trees give me Wood. . . . . Yeah i said it.

Danielle Lynn Detjen Dale went there. I knew someone wood, it was only a matter of time ;)

Jeffrey J Reeder I knew this conversation would branch out like this.

Danielle Lynn Detjen Yeah I'm stumped it didn't happen sooner. 

Jeffrey J Reeder I'm going to leaf that one alone.

Danielle Lynn Detjen You're right, we're barking up the wrong thing here. Better stick to the subject at hand!

Jeffrey J Reeder Too late. Dirty thoughts have been planted in my mind and have taken root.

Jeffrey J Reeder This thread has really blossomed, but I'm afraid I've run out of puns lol

Danielle Lynn Detjen Oh my god no Jeffrey! Think of the children! You need to spruce up your life for the better.. I don't want to sway you but its just gonna chop years off your life!!

Danielle Lynn Detjen Don't say that. You just can't see the forest through the trees :C

Jeffrey J Reeder "Oak"ay. I do have more puns.

Danielle Lynn Detjen That's the spirit! I was worried you were going all sappy on me!

Jeffrey J Reeder I wood have had you not inspired me!

Danielle Lynn Detjen Indeed, power and dedication are the roots of success!

Jeffrey J Reeder It wasn't from shellac of trying!

Danielle Lynn Detjen I'm gonna have to log that one lol

Mihaela Mihaescu Cherry Omg.. this I hillarious

Cate Mountford You two have me in stitches here!!

Jeffrey J Reeder I was "pine"ing over that one for quite some time...

Jeffrey J Reeder Peter Kapitola is missing out! He's the king of puns! He'd cut us both down!

Danielle Lynn Detjen Lol its been quite a lot of fun when you're board ;)

Danielle Lynn Detjen Ironically I expect Joe Wood to roll in with some puns or memes any minute 

Jeffrey J Reeder If this joke fell in the forest and nobody was around to hear it, wood it still make a 

Danielle Lynn Detjen I'm worried now... Peter would willow at our corniness lol We're gonna be struck down real soon!

Peter Kapitola Well this has been quite a treet.

Peter Kapitola Sorry I took so long lumbering my way over here.

Danielle Lynn Detjen Peter! I figured you were at the beech! Welcome to our little pun grove. :)

Peter Kapitola I bough to your pun mastery.

Danielle Lynn Detjen I'm gonna go out on a limb here.. but this has been amazing lol

Peter Kapitola I think it might be time to head for bed.... for rest that is.

Danielle Lynn Detjen It's definitely midnight for me.. gotta log off for the night ;)

Plane Clothes Policed

QANTAS not budging on dress code despite backlash

QANTAS is making no apology for refusing poorly dressed passengers entry to its major airport lounges, despite some travellers taking to social media to complain.

"“Since yesterday the only discrepancy has been with customers wearing rubber and leather thongs which are no longer within the dress code guidelines. “We appreciate this may have caused some frustration but we’re not in a position to flip-flop on the policy.”

Kerryn Kapitola I bet some PR customer service clerk was getting miffed at the backlash and decided to put a little joy in his/her life.

Peter Kapitola Yeah, and they made sure they plugged the QANTAS club while doing so. They're such unashamed Pluggers.

Kerryn Kapitola Worse yet, they might consider making people dress up before they board, but that could just be a FLIGHT OF FANCY thankyouimdone.

Peter Kapitola I bet some people think this policy is a Croc.

Kerryn Kapitola Ugg, I don't see what the big deal is aboot, but give them time, I guess, and they'll heel.

(See how I slippered those puns in there? )

Brittany Crook That was a bit of sneakery there, Kerryn!

They could just make everyone take-off their shoes before entering, so they don't get sand al over their floors.

Peter Kapitola I guess they just like loafing around and will use whatever platform they can to clog up the system with complaints.

Boyd Zurg That would be a soleless policy, Britt

Daniel Braithwaite So, only the well heeled get access now...

Steve Shepherd Peter & Kerryn, you should be writing Bill's Zingers! Vicki x

Brittany Crook Converse-ly, Peter, perhaps they're making a pointe that they won't buckle under pressure to loosen their stance, even if it does tie up the system.

Peter Kapitola Still(etto), I can understand how some people find this insoleting, promoting calls for QANTAS to get off their high (heeled) horse, which is riding rough-shod over its customer's feelings and putting down its footwear it really shouldn't. Perhaps Mary Jane could broguer an amicable solution?

Electrical Pun Storm

...no Morse...

Chris Roberts Cleaning out some boxes and found a bunch of extension cords that I'd forgotten that I had. Made me happier than is probably justified.

Richard Nicholls Shocking.

Chris Roberts Revolting

Katrina Sherwood How did I know this would spark off?

Chris Roberts Sorry, I'm just so amped.

Richard Nicholls That hertz

Peter Kapitola This is currently my favourite thread on Facebook.

Rebecca Tinley This thread won't lead anywhere good - cord you guys just put a socket in it and move on?

Daniel Braithwaite This deserves a plug

Daniel Braithwaite And whilst this thread is live it is impossible to be neutral about it, however a time will come when we are brought down to earth.

Boyd Zurg Let's just stay grounded about this, Dan

Kerryn Kapitola More power to ya!

Richard Nicholls Seems this conversation's had a powerful surge in popularity.

Boyd Zurg Yep, and it's all your volt ;)

Richard Nicholls Watt!

Boyd Zurg Guilty as charged.

Richard Nicholls Ohm my.

Boyd Zurg Resistance is futile

Peter Kapitola I find this whole discussion electrifying.

Boyd Zurg It's just a phase

Peter Kapitola I'm at social thing all day today, which is impeding my ability to reply (hence the lag in my comments).

Brittany Crook Nothing wrong with being so positive about this, Chris; it's not like there's a code of conduct.

Peter Kapitola Yeah, a code of conduct...or anything like that.

Brittany Crook At least he's not all wired up about having missed them for so long.

Kerryn Kapitola This thread is going around and round in circuits, series-ly guys.

Peter Kapitola Well, we are pretty good at soldering on in the face of negative influences.

Matt Lydon It seems like this thread has reached out to a lot of people, and been a good outlet for their boardome

Peter Kapitola Chris, you left us in the dark regarding the quality of the cords. I guess I'll have to do my own investigations. I'm sure I'll be able to find some good leads.

Mirthday Party

Peter Kapitola So this blog has turned 1. Time for a mirthday party?

Adam Brown Onederful! I didn't think it'll last this long but obviously, uno best.

Peter Kapitola There are many who don't un-derstand. But yes, ein know best.

Boyd Zurg Wow, adin realise it's been that long!

Brittany Crook Will there be LOLly bags?

Boyd Zurg and beer?

Peter Kapitola Boyd - adin?

Boyd Zurg один. Say "i didn't" fast ..and bir is kyrgyz

Peter Kapitola Wow, Russian transliterated into an English pun. That has to be a record.

Milking It

Peter Kapitola If you ask one million people to open a carton of milk and pour a glass of it, probably 100,000 will spill some milk, 10,000 will spray milk on themselves while trying to open the carton, 1,000 will drop the carton all over the floor, 100 will manage to break the glass, 10 will cut themselves on said glass and 1 will somehow manage to set fire to the room. #designingabetterfool

Chris Roberts not worth crying over.

Peter Kapitola Chris, I knew you were going to milk this joke for all it's worth.

Chris Roberts Oh dairy me.

Daniel Braithwaite Which is why you should always take the udder option

Joel Reid Please stop milking it.

Peter Kapitola You didn't like Dan's comment Joel? Was there something it lact?

Chris Roberts This is getting cheesy. You guys had butter step up your game or I will cream you. Your comments have all lacked. Oh Snap!

Peter Kapitola You sound a bit sour Chris. Do you expect us to just cow-er before your pun mastery?

Amy Fletcher I can't believe I just wasted 2 minutes reading your bad punnery!

Peter Kapitola You didn't like them Amy? No whey! There's a real Kraft to doing puns, and not everyone can master it.

Joel Reid Yeah you gotta be as cool as ice about it, Peters has it creamed.

Peter Kapitola I bet Amy really wants us to lait off it now. But I've never been one to see a pun and let it brie.